La Biblioteca

Entrar allí fue como dejar parte de la carga que llevaba sobre mis hombros arriba de uno de los estantes de madera de caoba recién barnizada.

Incapacidad de Observación.

Caí en la cuenta entonces de qué poco uso le damos a nuestra capacidad de observación. Solía ensimismarme tanto que todo lo demás pasaba a ser secundario, ignorando cosas que podrían haber resultado de algún valor.

Hurts like Hell

When you open up your mind and heart to someone.

And that person just ignores what you are saying and pretends you never said a word.

Just for the record, it hurts like hell.

Astronaut

I don't want to feel like this anymore.

Can't Even Think Straight

Not again. The last couple of entrances are all about the same bloody thing, and it's not that i'm repetitive... it's that they keep on saying those words. Destructive. Negative.

Wish I didn't care... wish I didn't fucking care.

Sometimes I really feel like asking if they would still love me if I were gay. I don't want to know the answer.

It would hurt too much.

I'd love them to watch "Prayers For Bobby". Maybe THAT would make them understand how sad and horrible it is when people don't accept you for who you are.

Damn.

I don't believe in God, but if there is:

- Let people accept me for who I am or let me stop caring about it.

Hello, This Is You Speaking.

I'd be really happy to spend a week all by myself in some place nice and quiet. Why? Well, to get to know myself better. It wouldn't be an "Into the Wild" experience, but it would help me rediscover a few things about me I might have forgotten.

Infeliz.

Esos instantes en que me considero una completa asesina internamente.

Segundos en que comprendo que guardo tanto rencor en mí que acabará causando daño de una manera u otra.

Momentos en que recuerdo que jamás me permitiré lastimar a alguien más que a mi misma.

Horas en que reconozco que sigo siendo la misma infeliz.

Construyendo Realidades

Me paso la vida esperando. Espero el momento adecuado para actuar. El momento correcto para comenzar. El momento indicado para detenerme... No existe un momento. Debo crear esos instantes, puesto que el mundo no gira en torno a mi ser.

Necesito dejar de planificar mi vida en base a supuestos y comenzar a tejer el telar de mi existencia. Debo olvidar el plano de una vez y comenzar a construir, o será demasiado tarde para habitar la vivienda.

All Time Low May 19

I don't exactly know HOW, but I'm gonna be there. May 19, no matter what, I'll be in Buenos Aires and sing my lungs out!
All Time Low in Argentina.
PERFECT(:

ERROR 404: Humanity Not Found?

I've always felt rejected, but nowadays I think it's just too much.

Those who I care about the most are constantly laughing at me, criticizing the way I look. And I don't mind that they don't see me as a pretty girl, but I do mind when they look disgusted and say "you look like a dude" or "now lets just call you Alexander"...

Wish they knew how hurtful those words are. I am what I am... and if it wasn't for them, I'd actually be happy with myself.

I don't need to be perfect. I just need them to accept me for who I am.

I'm a woman.

I feel like dressing and acting as both woman AND man.

Face it.

It feels different, unique and awesome.

I'm a woman.

I'm attracted to both women AND men.

Face it.

I'm bisexual.

And now it doesn't matter if I'm a woman.

The only thing that matters, is that I'M HUMAN.

Someone

When people ask me if I have a boyfriend, my immediate reaction is to laugh and say "oh, thank god NO. Too much drama."

The truth?

Sometimes I wish I had someone to count on. Someone to share. Someone to take care of. Someone who cares... Someone.

It makes me feel so empty to realize I'm this lonely. Because I like to pretend I'm fine, but I'm tired of being on my own.

Joroschó

Maybe I'm nothing but a Clockwork Orange.

Organic.

Mechanic.

No choice or alternative.

Constantly manipulated.

Nothing but a Clown

Once again, I put on a mask and interpret this beautiful and perfectly executed story of endless lies. It seems I can't get off the stage. Why am I forced to live through someone else?
People need to be entertained and it feels like I've been the one chosen to perform in order to keep them happy.
What about my happiness? What about the things I want or need?

Well, the answer is that nobody cares about my will.
The truth is, though I've always felt bad about them, I'm nothing but a clown.

A freak built by them for their exclusive amusement.

The Way The World Goes Round

I feel so insignificant. I feel... empty.
SO EMPTY.

I find myself thinking about it almost every day. Wondering why can't I accept the way the world goes round. Birth. School. College. Work. Death.
Why go to college? Why go to work? Is it worth the effort? Of course it is, if that's your dream. Go to university if you feel like being a doctor or a lawyer.

But I don't feel like being anything at all.
I just want to be me.
I just live to find the meaning of life.

Living a Lie

Hurting me once again.

They don't really know how bad it hurts hearing those hateful words. I'm still trapped inside all these lies, but I can't help but hide...

I'm tired of running away from who I am only because they don't like me. I'm tired of being unable to express myself because they disapprove.

I'm just tired of living this lie.